As long as you resist the natural desire to perfect yourself by living in accordance with sound judgment through the cultivation of the virtues, you will continue to experience frustration. I am sorry to sound ‘moralistic,’ but there are too many therapists, philosophers, politicians, and entertainers all too willing to pander to your every whim by suggesting that you need to be ‘true to yourself.’ Well, being true to yourself is what has gotten you thus far. How is that going for you?
I must admit from the start that there is a semblance of truth in the be ‘true to yourself’ philosophy. This truth is the human urge ‘to fully live,’ ‘to be actualized,’ or ‘to live a whole, complete, and real life.’ Not merely following the herd or doing certain actions without understanding why they are done. People want to know and feel their actions flowing truly from them. This is all understandable and commendable. Unfortunately, problems emerge when these natural urges are interpreted through the lens of a bad philosophy—a philosophy grounded in irrationality.
As I have argued elsewhere, our culture is one that sets many of us up for failure, for the channels of our culture deny there is such a thing as ‘true human flourishing’ in the strict sense of the word. They deny this because they deny that there is such a thing as ‘real meaning’ or ‘real purpose’ for all human persons. No one better expresses this philosophy than one of the founders of the be 'true to yourself’ philosophy—the French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre. One of Sartre’s most famous teachings is life is absurd because we lack a true human nature directed to a specific goal or end. Rather, all we have is a radical freedom of indifference such that we are, regrettably, as Sartre says, left with the task of determining our own essences. In the words of Sartre, “man is nothing else but what he makes of himself.”
Now many of you reading this blog may see a life without true meaning and purpose problematic. I certainly do. Sartre tries to tamper the anxiety his philosophy creates in the hearts of his followers by assuring them that creating their own meaning and purpose in life is being “authentic”—as opposed to being a mere ‘conformist.’ But I hardily see this as comforting. An artificially contrived meaning is still without meaning no matter how you look at it. An altruistic life is just as ‘meaningful’ as a selfish life. Your desire to love children is just as ‘meaningful’ as those who hate children.
Such a philosophy flies in the face of common sense, for nothing is more self-evident than the fact that humans are rational being order to pursue the true goods integral to human perfection and avoid evils that thwart and wreck human flourishing. However, if the be ‘true to yourself’ philosophy is correct and our common sense is mistaken, then there is no rationality behind your choices. They are just arbitrary whims with no rhyme or reason. They are just expressions of your ‘authentic self,’ which are none other than projections of an illusionary sense of fulfillment—neither aiding you in perfecting yourself (for there is no human nature to perfect), nor giving true satisfaction (for the goods you seek are not fitting to your nature because there is no nature for them to fulfill). This philosophy of life is the essence of irrationality, for as Sartra’s philosophy entails, your life is absurd because your choices are in fact absurd. Thus, by being true to yourself you are actually forging yourself into a web of lies only to have your soul drained by the angst it creates. All is without meaning. All is without purpose.
I opened this blog suggesting you truly consider your natural desire to perfect yourself by living in accordance with sound judgment through the cultivation of the virtues. Your own well-being depends on it. Paradoxically, the real way for you to be 'true to yourself’ is not by renouncing real meaning and purpose in life; nor is it found in opposing moral absolutes and crying ‘oppression’ at anyone who suggests there are definite rights and definite wrongs. For don’t you see, by opposing the right and the true and the lasting good and beautiful you are opposing reality itself by wishing to exist apart from reality? But to choose to live outside of reality is to live in a world of irrationality. Such desired existence is what Thomas Merton calls ‘my false self.’ Ironic indeed! The more you try to be' true to yourself’ the more false you will become.
Thus, the answer, I believe, is the ‘true self’ is found in just the opposite way than that of Sartre. It is affirming a real human nature created by God with a real purpose and meaning. Instead of fighting for the false self’s freedom of indifference, we succumb to truly finding ourselves by acting upon our Freedom For Excellence! That is, we are most free when we desire and will what is truly fulfilling of our human nature, for we discover in our nature that we were meant to flourish as children of God. We discover He hardwired us to function in certain ways conducive to live as fully actualized men and women. To act contrary to this hard wiring is to live a frustrated and, ultimately, an unhappy life of irrationality. The 'true self' is not found in giving into all your base desires in opposition to God; rather, 'the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it--he will be blessed in what he does' and truly find himself.
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